Corpse Party: The Wake
by 3xm3d1c
Summary: They thought that once they got back home that they would be safe. That's what Ayumi told herself. But when life still hasn't gone back to normal, and when she finally realises that it probably never will, she starts to really notice just how much she still needs Yoshiki Kishinuma to keep her safe. Post 'Corpse Party: Blood Covered - Repeated Fear'. AyumixYoshiki.
1. Chapter 1

_Alright, so here's the deal. I haven't uploaded anything to in a long time, mainly because the last time I did I was 14, terrible at writing and tried to tackle a very popular fandom. Needless to say, the amount of backlash I got was enough for me to be like "Yeah, no, that's not happening again"._

_However...I decided to try again. I'm a bit older now and I think I can handle it. I figure there's not a lot of stories for this particular series, so I'd like to contribute. _

_Keep in mind I don't have a beta at this point, so whatever errors there are, I apologise. I'm not sure how often I'm going to update this, but for the moment, I'm quite happy to keep going with it. I have a basic idea in my mind for where I want it to go, so there's that I guess._

_None the less, I'll let you get on with the story. _

_I really don't think I need to do a disclaimer, do I? It should be quite clear I don't in fact own Corpse Party, because in the circumstances that I did, I would currently be working on a sequel where this was happening._

Bodies. So many bodies.

Lined up along a dirty, ruined hallway.

Ayumi counted herself lucky that there was no gaps in the floorboards like there usually was, because she was far to preoccupied, unable to look away at the masses of remains.

Bleach white skeletons made way for decaying bodies. She'd seen them all before; remembered them in excruciating detail. The name tags, the messages written in blood, etched onto floorboard, carefully scribed painstakingly with frostbitten fingers. Ayumi could remember them all by name, if she tried. She was sure she could.

Every fleck of blood. Every scent. Look of terror or hopelessness that was still etched onto whichever body still had skin.

Eventually they made way, piling upwards. The staircase to the third floor.

On a throne made of carcasses and sided by a large, softly grunting man. Black hair. Red dress, and darkened grey skin.

Despite her size, stature and the obvious fact she was a child, there was an undeniable air of power.

She owned this place. This child...this was her dominion.

"Sa...chi...ko..." The words were hardly heard underneath the fitful buzzing of dozens of flies. Landing on Ayumi's face, getting tangled in her pigtails. They seemed to swarm around her eyes and mouth, but she couldn't move to brush them away. Blinking, breathing, everything was out of her control. Crawling everywhere, multiplying. It made her feel so sick, and yet all she could do was stand there and stay still. She had no control.

But this was Heavenly Host. Ayumi never had any control here.

A giggle, and a harsh grin from underneath a veil of shiny black hair. The buzzing continued, getting louder and louder, the disgusting flying insects now thick in the air like mist.

There was a childish giggle, and legs kicked up from underneath the blood red dress.

"A-yu-mi~..."

The breath that Ayumi pulled in forced her to shoot upwards from her spot at the desk, the back of her head colliding painfully with-

"O-ow! Fuck, Shinozaki, that hurt!"

Still reeling, the dark-haired girl could only turn and stare at the blonde haired boy, hands covering his face as he continued to swear.

The classroom...she was at school. Light pooled over her from the window, warming her shoulders and face. Nothing was ruined or dirty. Just simple, economical desks and chairs.

"Kishinuma..." her voice came out soft and airy, still feeling far too witless at this point. Ayumi watched her friend fidget around, entranced as his white-blonde hair glowed brightly in the sunlight.

She couldn't pull her eyes away. Not until another colour caught her eye.

Crimson. Dripping down from between his fingers.

"Kishinuma! You're bleeding!" Ayumi jumped up immediately after that, shoving her chair back and her desk forward and she almost jumped over to her friend.

'_I must have broken his nose...damnit!'_

"We have to get you to the infirmary..." Kishinuma looked up at her with a defiant look (_I don't need to go)_, which she countered with a much harsher one (_Oh yes you do!)_.

Blood started to drip onto the floor, landing beside her shoe with a small _pit pat_. A hand dove into her pocket, and she yanked out the handkerchief she always kept there. She was somewhat forceful when pulling the blonde's hands away, but was contrastingly gentle when pressing the folded up cloth to his nose. He attempted to tilt his head back, but Ayumi stopped him.

"No, that'll only make the blood go down your throat. Keep your head down, I've got you."

Kishinuma grumbled something, but feeling the warm grasp of Shinozaki's hand wrapped around his wrist, he remained silent. He allowed himself to be guided by Ayumi, until he was pushed lightly through a door and into the startling white room which he knew to be the infirmary.

It was hard to hear was Ayumi was saying while his head was pounding so much, but by the seems of it the nurse was out, so she was left to fix him up.

Another handful of tissues was slipped under his hands, while the handkerchief was eased out.

Kishinuma wanted to apologise – he'd dirtied it after all, even if she was the one that did it in the first place. But Ayumi didn't seem bothered – in a trance, she moved towards the sink in the corner and carefully wringing it out. She watched the swirling red go down the drain, mind going blank at the sight.

"Ayumi?" Kishinuma's voice sounded muffled against the soft tissues – he repeated her name again, pulling the now soaked wads away. Coming back to her senses, Ayumi turned around, giving the cloth one last rinse out before laying it on the edge of the sink.

"Sorry, here, I'll get you more tissues..."

Another handful of tissues was handed over – Ayumi tried her best not to dwell on the fact that Kishinuma's finger tips brushed against her, a generous amount of blood coating them.

She flinched at the contact – it was the blood, not Kishinuma.

The fact she told herself that made her lip quirk oddly. Why did she need to tell herself that?

Regardless, even if the boy noticed her slight jerking away from him (which he did), there was no comment made on it. He just watched her with careful eyes, following her slight form as she moved around the office, gathering and filling up a small plastic tub with water, and grabbing some towels from a cupboard.

The sound of a chair being dragged against the ground was similar enough to a shriek that it made the both of them jump. Ayumi, coughing to disguise the pathetic whimper she'd given, lifted the chair up properly.

Silence. Utter, blank silence. Even if the world was moving outside of this room, inside, it wasn't.

"Here...let me have a look." Ayumi brushed back some of Yoshiki's hair, so she was able to see his face a bit clearer. All the moving and fidgeting had caused blood to be smeared all up his cheeks. She swallowed hard, but progressed onwards. Small, ice-cold fingers lightly inspected Yoshiki's face, making him flush against the contact.

'_Shinozaki is so close...' _He couldn't help but think. His heart races, and he hoped to god that she couldn't tell. Even as she pressed against the sensitive bridge of his nose, he couldn't say anything.

With a guilty look in her eyes, she pulled away. There was a slight smile - "It's not broken, I'm pretty sure. I just bumped it really hard."

So her diagnosis was a good one. Kishinuma was pleased, but still watched her with a sly smile. Her own faltered, eyes becoming downcast.

"I'm...really sorry about this." She added. Ayumi knew she shouldn't have fallen asleep. But she just wanted ten minutes – class had been dismissed early, so she figured she could get away with that.

Yoshiki pulled the tissues away once more, giving a small, experimental sniff.

Careful eyes watched him, before giving a slight nod. "I think it's stopped bleeding for now."

"S-Shinozaki..." Yoshiki was taken back as he watched Ayumi wet a towel and wring it out, then move in quite close to his face.

"Sorry if this is uncomfortable for you..." She apologised. It surprised both of them how humble she was, but none the less. "I just...I was going to clean you up a bit. I suppose you don't want to be going to lunch with all this blood on your face, right?"

"A-ah. Yes, I suppose so..." He agreed, though hesitant. A slight pink flush was building on his cheeks. He'd blame it on the blood nose, probably.

Time went by slowly as Ayumi carefully wiped at Kishinuma's face. Why was she doing this for him? Surely, standing in front of the sink and mirror he'd be able to do it himself.

'_I...still feel like I owe him...'_ was the sad thought.

It was true. It'd been almost two weeks since they'd come back from...that place. Satoshi, Naomi, Yuka, Kishinuma and herself. Her first though was that it was a dream – she'd fallen and hit her head whilst cleaning up after the Cultural Festival.

But no. No it definitely wasn't a dream. Her cuts and scrapes could have been explained by the tripping and falling, but not those belonging to everyone else.

That, and there was the undeniable fact that half of them were gone. Ms Yui...Morishige...Mayu...Seiko...

Nobody said anything as they sat on the classroom floor. Too tired, too ashamed at the overwhelming happiness they felt, the relief...they'd made it home. They were alive.

Ayumi couldn't even managed an argument when she arrived home.

It had seemed that any time they'd spent in that place meant nothing here. It was like they'd never been gone.

Her parents asked her where she'd been. If she knew what time it was.

It was 8pm. She was well aware. All she could manage was a small mumble about cleaning up after the cultural festival and how she was sorry. Ayumi – usually so eager to not do wrong, made no excuse. Her parents noticed, and somehow, didn't quite have the heart to punish her in that instance.

It wasn't until she was up the stairs and face to face with her beloved sister Hinoe that she broke down into tears.

Since then, Ayumi had been...existing. Much to her own surprise, it had barely bothered her that Satoshi - her beloved Mochida – had begun dating Naomi.

Naomi had apologised to her – they'd been love rivals, of course, but Ayumi wasn't going to hold it against her.

Despite what had happened, Naomi decided that life wasn't something to be taken for granted. So she'd gathered the courage and asked Satoshi out. The poor boy had been clueless about her affections all this time, but had accepted none the less. They'd been dating all this time, barely apart in fact.

Ayumi was bothered – but only slightly. To her, it was just another thing stacked up against her.

Maybe it was because her sense of priorities had matured. Her health was declining, her grades were slipping...somehow, having two of her good friends find happiness in each other wasn't something she felt like condemning or arguing.

She would have liked if they didn't decide to go on their own after that. It really only left Kishinuma and herself. Really, she could have just stopped talking to him – let the distance between the two of them grow enough where she'd slowly forget him and everything else that occurred. But that didn't happen.

Somehow, the two of them always seemed to find each other. Ayumi found herself growing anxious at almost anything now, and when that happened – the moment her heart started beating faster and faster, and when her breath caught in her throat, the only concern on her mind was finding him.

Find Yoshiki Kishinuma. He will keep you safe. You need him.

Moments after those thoughts would hit her, her legs would move, spiriting her away to the blonde haired delinquent that had protected her.

And he had. He'd been there the whole time, making sure she was safe. He never abandoned her. Time and time again, he'd saved her. Could she say the same for Satoshi? No. Not really.

It was only so long after that until finding Kishinuma became easier and easier, because he never stayed that far away from her.

Now, the two of them were almost inseparable.

"Shinozaki?"

A gentle hand grasped her wrist as steely blue eyes stared at her.

She responded with a small 'hm?', which made the blonde boy before her sigh.

"You spaced out, Shinozaki. I think my face is clean now."

His voice was teasing, but she could quiet easily see he was relieved.

"Oh...Sorry..."

Her voice was still small and soft. He never let go of her wrist, instead held onto it with a firm but gentle hand.

"Shinozaki...Ayumi." Yoshiki eyes were filled with worry as he said her name. "What's wrong?"

The laugh she let out in response was surprisingly bitter – it make Kishinuma wince. Ayumi shook her head, then gently pulled her wrist free from his grasp.

"It's nothing." She said, shaking her head. "I'm just...tired, you know? Mid-terms are coming up, and it's been hard getting enough sleep while I've got so much study to do."

Saying that she hadn't been getting enough sleep was stating the obvious, and that was hardly the worst of it.

Ayumi Shinozaki was always a small girl – but how much smaller she looked now compared to before the incident nearly broke Kishinuma's heart.

There was a clear attempt to disguise the black bags that linger underneath her eyes with make-up, and while it may have worked on anyone else, Yoshiki saw right through it. He'd spent long hours thinking about and admiring those eyes – so keen and clear. It'd be an insult if he didn't see it right away.

Not only that, but he'd heard the girls in the hallways. Being the Class Representative, everyone knew Shinozaki, whether they hated, loved or simply tolerated her.

He'd barely been paying attention when he'd passed them, but after hearing Shinozaki's name, getting a drink at the water fountain beside the girls was the most important task he had to do all day.

"Look how thin Shinozaki is now! I'm so jealous, I wonder what she's been doing?" One of them sighed, looking over at the squat girl with dark pigtails unpacking her bag in front of a locker. "It must be a diet, I wonder if I can get her to spill-"

Kishinuma didn't hear much else after that, because he'd been too busy examining Ayumi himself.

They were right, of course. The poor girl looked sick and tiny. Now he had the chance to get a good look at her, it was even more true.

She looked so weak and worn that he was sure Satoshi's sister Yuka could best her in a fight.

Not enough food, not enough sleep. Ayumi Shinozaki was wasting away in front of him, and that was only on the surface.

Kishinuma had thought that once they'd returned and he's gotten her out safe that everything would be ok.

But was it really?

The beaten, hopeless look in her eyes said otherwise.

"Shino-"

"Oh my god is that the time?!"

That exclamation was probably the most normal thing he'd seen her do for weeks.

"Yeah, school's over now..." He stated quite calmly. Ayumi jumped up, and despite how much she tried to combat it, the swaying was obvious. Yoshiki stretched out a hand, prepared to reach for her if she fell, but somehow Ayumi managed to shake it off.

"But I just...I closed my eyes for a moment before going to lunch...Did I sleep for that long? Oh god, the classes I've missed out on, why didn't you wake me up sooner?" Her voice was worn, though still managed to be accusing. Kishinuma shrugged, looking away from her.

"Y-you...you looked like you could use the sleep, Shinozaki. I went look for you at the start of lunch when you didn't show up outside your locker." his eyes met hers again, and the look he was giving her was...pitiful.

"I knew you had a free period after lunch, then PE after that. You didn't miss out much, and that classroom was free for the rest of the day anyway."

Ayumi was going to snap at him, defend herself somehow but... she couldn't bring herself to. She just gave the blonde boy a curious look.

"You...you know my class schedule that well?"

It was hardly an accusing question. Just plain curiosity. Kishinuma wished he hadn't said that.

"Ah..." he shifted under her gaze. She looked so innocent, asking him that. "You talk about your classes a lot. I guess it kind of sunk in over time."

'_It's a coincidence that I only know your classes and never bothered to learn Satoshi's though...'_

Blinking a few times, her mouth opened with a silent 'oh'. She nodded slightly, but there was a creeping blush making it's way up her neck.

Kishinuma cared about her enough to do that? Brow furrowing, she stopped.

What did he do exactly? Ayumi supposed it wasn't really about what he did, but just...the fact that he noticed. She sighed, giving the boy a long, half lidded gaze.

"You're a silly boy, Yoshiki Kishinuma." Ayumi stated airily, before taking away the abandoned plastic tub and towels.

"E-eh?" Kishinuma was taken back. He let out a laugh, however, and smirked at Ayumi's turned back.

"Not as silly as you, Ayumi..."

She didn't hear him though – he was glad about that.

After she'd finished cleaning up, Ayumi moved over to the door and stood there, waiting for Kishinuma expectantly.

"C'mon, I'll walk home with you." She offered, holding the door open so he could walk out of it.

"It's the least I can do after nearly breaking your nose..."

Yoshiki nodded – he couldn't come up with a single reason why he should fight it, so he decided not to. The two of them walked out of the infirmary, then school, side by side.

_A/N: Well, there it is. I'll see about getting another chapter uploaded soon. I'm not sure about how lengthy it'll end up being though. That tends to be an issue with me, actually. Nevermind, I suppose. Hope you have a good day, and I'll see you later._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Well, shit. I didn't expect to get any feedback at all, much less the reviews, favs and follows that I have. Thank you guys, I feel a lot better about posting this now. I figure I may as well upload the next chapter now - I've been working on a Visual Novel project, so I've been typing this up when I need a break from drawing. _  
><em>Same as before, I don't really know when the next chapter will be out, but I will continue to post chapters as soon as I've finished them.<em>

_And again, my not really a disclaimer - Corpse party isn't mine, I'm just filling in the gaps that the games left in my fucking SOUL because they didn't take AyumixYoshiki all the way, and that makes me a whole bunch of sad. _

* * *

><p>Naturally, after everything that happened, there was a whole list of thing that both Ayumi and Yoshiki found themselves having some change of opinion on.<p>

For Ayumi, it was white noise. The hustle and bustle of people moving around her.  
>She used to like peace and quite before. It helped her think clearer. But now? She like the assurance that she wasn't the only one alive much more.<br>Yoshiki, on the other hand...

Even if he was still feeling quite dazed, the bridge of his nose throbbing uncomfortably. It had been swelling steadily over the course of their trip through the city.  
>He didn't like the feeling. With Ayumi beside him, he wanted to feel alert and ready.<br>Just in case.

Just in case of...well, what exactly?  
>The noise had different meaning for Kishinuma – noise meant there was something moving. Something else nearby. Something else that could hurt them, another factor another variable that may try its hardest to send them to a terrible, terrible fate.<br>So, neither of them spoke – Ayumi was too concerned with appreciating the sounds of life and the living around her, and Yoshiki was trying his best to watch out for anything and everything that may hurt her.

Somewhere nearby, but still out of sight, tires squealed in traffic, horns honking.  
>Ayumi jumped, inadvertently moving closer to Yoshiki's side.<br>Yoshiki also flinched, but his arm moved out in front of Ayumi, as if he was about to shield her from something.

The two looked at each other. They mumbled a small apology, and continued walking.

Admittedly, Ayumi was quite surprised when she stepped inside Kishinuma's flat.  
>It was tiny, naturally – he was a high-school boy working a part time job to support himself, so it wasn't exactly like he was able to afford anything spectacular.<br>But it was neat and clean, aside from a few bowls in the sink and some food packets on the bench. She'd expected, well...total chaos.

"Sorry it's a mess..." Was the typical polite mumble. Blinking, she turned towards Kishinuma, who had removed his grey school jacket and was setting it out on the back of a chair. She shook her head with a small, inaudible laugh.

Ayumi wondered why he had two chairs as she carefully laid her shoes out near the door. It was when she noticed the washed and dried set of dishes on the bench that she figured it out.  
>'<em>His sister...it's probably for when she visits.'<em>

That was another sad thought she had. The whole time she was gone, Ayumi couldn't help but think about how her parents would look and search for her while she was gone. If not her parents, Hinoe would. Her sister...She knew something was wrong even before she'd staggered in through the door.  
>What about Kishinuma though? It wasn't exactly a secret that his parents had kicked him out. That was apart of his whole back story as a delinquent.<br>It must have helped with his reputation, but...how lonely must it get for him?

To come home after school each day and not speak to anyone – to live alone?

His sister came and visited him...but how often?  
>Pretty irregularly, if she was leaving that many dishes behind full of leftover food.<p>

Ayumi furrowed her brow, watching Kishinuma move around the kitchen and turn on a small electric kettle. After that, he roughly took a seat in one of the chairs, relaxing with his head tilted back. He let out a rough sigh as he gentle massaged the bridge of his nose, obviously trying to ease the throbbing at least a little bit.

Despite how much she tried, she couldn't stop feeling guilty about that. There was a lot she had to feel guilty about, really.

"Shinozaki."

Ayumi made a noise, looking up again at Kishinuma. He, again, was watching her carefully.

"I asked if you wanted some tea. You may as well come in for a bit."  
>There was silence for a moment. '<em>Did I really miss him saying that? I need to stop spacing out so much...'<br>_  
>"O-oh. Yes, thank you..." Ayumi nodded, fumbling as she actually took more of a step into the room.<br>There wasn't as much as a word spoken between the two of them as the kettle slowly came to the boil. Ayumi was satisfied being in her own world – a daze of half-thoughts and ideas coming and going as she breathed quietly. Yoshiki, on the other hand, was quite satisfied watching her.  
>He wasn't too sure how much he liked this new Ayumi – she was...off. Yes, she may have been hard to handle at time before, and he'd even go so far as to say it frustrated him how dense and keen she could be at the same time. But he appreciated how devoted he was to the class and how much energy she seemed to breath into everyone. She got people moving and doing things, and she was always on the ball. There was rarely a time where Shinozaki wasn't concentrating on something.<br>The few times he had caught her staring off into the distance as she was at that moment, it was easy to guess that it was because Mochida was on her mind. But, he wasn't so sure that was the case now.

Satoshi had been quite casual, if not slightly giddy when he'd told Kishinuma about his new relationship with Naomi. He'd grinned, shook the brunette boy's hand and congratulated him. Naturally, the next question was a simple one - "What about Ayumi?".  
>Brown eyes met blue, and there was a moment of understanding between them. '<em>Well, what about her, Kishinuma?' <em>eyes questioned in an encouraging manner. Somewhere along the line, Satoshi had caught on (A miracle, considering how bad he seemed to be at noticing such feelings being directed at himself). He'd noted the changes within his blonde friend, due to the meddling of the petite class rep.

Yoshiki Kishinuma was not one to take someone's advice nor criticism whole-heartedly – he'd been told time and time again how he should improve himself and his image, how he should take school seriously and stop being such a lazy good-for-nothing.

He listened to Shinozaki though. Perhaps it was because she gave him a reason to do better, or the fact that for the first time, someone had approached him as not only an equal, but as someone that seriously wanted him to do better for himself, not for some other mundane reason.  
>Not only that, but he was quick to defend the Class Representative, especially when she would get on some of their other classmate's nerves, either by pushing them, or by making them squirm with her occult antics.<br>She never meant any harm with that. It was all fun, perhaps if it did become a bit tiring at times.

He wondered what was on her mind now? Yoshiki searched her eyes, attempted to find some clue.  
>She didn't seem angry – then again, it was rare to see her that angry. Shinozaki got vocal when she was disappointed, but hardly angry. "<em>Getting angry doesn't solve problems, Kishinuma. Understanding does.". <em> She'd said that to him once, after he tried to pick a fight with a bothersome Upperclassman.  
>Perhaps she was sad? A little, yes. There's a lot of things for them both to be sad about. Their friends were gone. Dead. And nobody aside from them seemed to be mourning. Why was that? He opened his mouth – he really wanted to ask her about that. But he decided against it. She hadn't noticed yet – hadn't said anything. It would just scare-<p>

Oh. That's what it was.  
>In the depth of those blue eyes, Yoshiki could see fear. Not primal, fight or flight fear. The kind that sneaks up on you, the kind that sits back and takes a constant second place in your mind. It's not at the forefront, but it's still there, behind everything, eating away.<br>It's the reason why you're constantly looking over your shoulder for no reason, when you think you see something just outside your vision so you need to check again. The hairs on the back on your neck never go down, and you lay in bed at night, silent, still and never moving because maybe something might hear you.  
>She was afraid, and it made Kishinuma realise deep down...<p>

He still was too.

A tell-tale click sounded as the kettle finished boiling, prompting Yoshiki to stand up and make the two of them a drink.  
>He was stopped however, as his head gave a thick woolly thump, and everything above his shoulders turned into a top-heavy mass.<p>

"Kishinuma...sit down, I'll get it."

Ayumi raised a hand, beckoning him to stay seated while she stood up herself, busying herself with rinsing two mugs from the sink so she wouldn't have to go digging through cupboards.  
>"Two-"<br>"Two sugars, no milk, right?"

This time it was Kishinuma that was taken back. She remembered? The look he was giving her must have been enough to warrant her giving some kind of explanation, so she did.  
>"I spent a whole day running to get you guys drinks at the-" She stopped herself, head drooping slightly.<p>

"It's ok, thank you." He replied quickly, wincing. It was still too soon. For the both of them.

A cup of tea, steaming lightly, was placed in front of him. With a shake of light hair, he sent her a thankful nod, then took a tentative sip.  
>It was...good. Better than most cups of tea he makes for himself. Not that there was any difference in method or ingredients he supposed. Purely because it was Ayumi that made it for him.<p>

In reply, Ayumi tilted her head with a slight smile.

For a few moments, there was only the sounds of tea being drunk slowly.  
>In her own mind, Shinozaki found it...well, she wanted it to be awkward. She thought it would be – the idea of her and Kishinuma being alone outside of school was strange to her. They were friends, of course, but never had the two really been the type to go off and do things on their own. They definitely weren't like Seiko and Naomi or Morishige and Mayu, but then again -<p>

The upturning of a lip in distaste. The sound of fingers squeaking slightly as the grip around a porcelain handle was tightened.

"Shinozaki...what are your plans after graduation?"

She cleared her throat, looking up at Kishinuma. "Hm?"

Grip loosened. Her knuckles started changing back from white to pale pink.  
>He'd caught the sight of panic rising in her eyes, needed to distract her from bad thoughts.<p>

"Well...I don't really know."

"I thought you wanted to go to University and study art?"

His prompting was met with a low sigh. Ayumi's eyes fell, now intent at examining the dark liquid in her mug.

"I thought so too. But I mean...after everything, I just feel like...I could be doing more good in something else. Something no so useless or selfish as painting pretty pictures..."

Her long, dark eyelashes brushed against her pale cheeks. Yoshiki would had admired it more, if she didn't sound so defeated.

"It seems like a waste of an opportunity now..." She breathed sadly, eyes becoming fuzzy with tears.

"No, Shinozaki, that's not true. Why would you think that? You should-"

"it's not fair! Not at all, not to them. Mayu and Seiko and Morishige...they died because of me! I did this, all of this... it's...it was all my fault. That they died. What right do I have to flit around and do something so useless, after making such a huge mess of everything!"

Her voice wasn't loud, but Kishinuma leaned back as if he'd been shouted at. Her voice cracked sadly, tears running down her cheek and landing on the collar of her shirt.

"I hurt them all. It's me, I may as well have killed them. I hurt Naomi and Satoshi and Yuka..."

"Ayumi..."

"And you, Kishinuma. After everything you did for me, I...I'm so selfish. I don't deserve to be here...You saved me, you should have just let me die there, I-"

Arms wrapped around her shaking form from the right of her, and she instinctually turned into them, crying softly.

"Ayumi, how could you say that?" His voice was rough, but still quiet enough to be gentle.

"I promise you, no-one thinks that was your fault. You didn't know what was going to happen. You just wanted everyone to stay friends."

Even if she'd been possessed when he'd hugged her like this before, somehow, this seemed like a much harder feat. None the less, he held her tight and let her cry.

"You were the one that saved us, in the end. We could have just left without fixing things. Because of you, think of how many other people have been saved? That'll never end up having to live that nightmare?"

He paused for a moment – she'd calmed down, but there was still the occasional sob as she pressed her face into her shoulder.

Ayumi found some comfort in the words, but not enough to drive away the guilty that continued to press down against her. She could feel a hand stroke the back of her head softly.

"You don't have to worry about me either, Shinozaki. I wasn't going to let you die there. We're...we're friends. We're supposed to look out for each other."

There was something bitter-sweet in those words – friends. Kishinuma held back a sigh as he felt the small body he was wrapped around begin to grow quiet and still.  
>Ayumi didn't let go though – not yet.<br>The last few times this happened, she'd pulled away, even struck the boy in shock. It was...well, unlike him to do such a thing. It was, well...new information she didn't want to process, feelings she didn't even really want to consider at that point. Why did an embrace from Yoshiki Kishinuma, of all people, break her out of that possessive spell? Would it have happened for anyone else? Like some kind of "power of friendship" bullshit like in a cheesy children's cartoon? It was a ridiculous thought, and hardly the time for it.

None the less, the overwhelming despair ebbed away, leaving her feeling groggy and dazed, cheeks red and wet from her crying.

She moved away from Kishinuma slowly – a fair contrast to the shove and smack she'd given him before.  
>It was...quiet after that. He watched her carefully, relieved that she'd managed to pull herself together.<br>Ayumi felt like squirming under his gaze – not because it was uncomfortable, but because she, again, felt so childish for having to rely on her classmate...on Kishinuma...again. He'd have to be getting sick of it by now right? Why had he even put up with her for that long?

With a decisive sigh and sniff, she gave Yoshiki a heavy lidded, apologetic smile.

"Thank you. For...that. And well, everything I guess. Sorry, too. Look at me, head-butting you in the face and then crying all over you when you invite me in your tea. I really owe you."

Kishinuma replied with a smirk and a lightly laugh, which then faded into a kinder, lopsided smile.  
>"Hmm...I don't know. I mean, the head-butting I can forgive...but this is my favourite school shirt..."<p>

Ayumi knew it was a tease, but she huffed anyway, playing along. "Oh that is a shame. How can I make it up to you?"

"There's a corner store down the street, and I'm feelin' awful sore. Too sore to make it all the way down those steps and across the road..." He continued onwards. Ayumi raised her eyebrows, expectant look on her face.

"Dinner is on me tonight then?"

"Oh really? You're so kind."

"Yeah yeah. Just this once though. Because I owe you."

"Because you owe me."

Ayumi pulled a face, shaking her head as she moved towards the door and stepped into her shoes, rolling her eyes at Kishinuma as a final gesture as she stepped outside and into the light of the setting sun.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Well, here you go. Hope you guys liked it. I'm aiming for about 2,500 words or more for each chapter before I add these authors notes in. It was easier reaching that word count this time, and to be honest I'm a bit surprised as to where this ended up. I hope it doesn't seem like things are moving all that fast, but hey. I do actually plan to have a plot to lean on, so it's not just going to be crying and shit.  
><em>_Anyways, have a good one c:_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Well, you guys asked for it. Once again, I'm very grateful for all the reviews, favourites and follows. I really wasn't expecting this to get the attention it has. This chapter is pretty much just Ayumi and Yoshiki thinkin' about stuff, so sorry if it's a bit boring. I kinda wanted to...well, I guess straighen out how the characters were feeling about each other at that point, and delve a bit more into how they were affected by the previous events. Y'know, that sort of thing._

_Anyways...I'll probably get started on the next chapter soon. I did a quick plan thingo last night, and I'm expecting maybe to get 14 chapters or so._  
><em>I'll let you get onto reading now guys, enjoy.<em>

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><p>Breathing a sigh, Ayumi closed the door to her bedroom quietly, dropping her bag beside her desk as she made her way over to the bed in the corner.<p>

Her parents had only questioned her slightly as to where she'd gotten to- she'd called them before heading out to that store near Kishinuma's place. Her mother was fine with just the vague answer she'd given – that she was having dinner at a friends, and she wouldn't be home too late.  
>Naturally, her father wanted a bit more of an explanation. Which friend? Who are their parents?<br>Hinoe, as unnaturally sharp as always, stepped in just in time. But that wasn't before she shot her younger sister a '_Tell me later'_ look.

Dinner with Kishinuma was...nice. Pleasant, if not a bit quiet.  
>But that was probably something they both appreciated. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was peaceful. And god knew they could use a bit of peace.<p>

When they cleaned up the dishes afterwards, Ayumi was surprised at how much fun it was. They'd knocked elbows, then she'd thrown a handful of suds at him. The spot on the side of her arm where he'd managed to get her was still a bit damp. That was a fairly decent sign that people were good friends, right? Turning a menial, boring task into something fun?

Or was that the way that parents got their children to tidy their rooms?

Ayumi shook her head. It felt like it didn't matter much.  
>'<em>But...it should, shouldn't it?'<br>_That was the problem, wasn't it? Everything seemed so...so pointless. What's the bother doing anything? She used to feel so sure of herself. Where to go next, what to do, what was next on the agenda. Shinozaki always had a plan. Impeccable foresight was something she was known for. Ayumi attempted to picture what she was going to do tomorrow, next week, a month down the line. Nothing. She tried so hard, but nothing came to her. She used to be good at this. Used to have it all down in her head.  
>Except...now she didn't. It was a strange feeling, being so directionless. A bit like being suspended in air, she decided.<p>

A knock rang out – knuckles rapping lightly against wood.

"Yes?"

"It's Hinoe. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Ayumi sat up, stifling a yawn and lightly pulling the ties holding her hair up. Hinoe moved towards the bed – she had to admire that about her sister. How gracefully she moved, it almost looked like she was gliding. She'd always had that ethereal quality about her – Ayumi hoped maybe one day she'd have that too.  
>Not speaking a word, the older sibling sat down besides her sister, and slowly started teasing the knots out of her sleek black hair. Tucking her knees up into her chin, Ayumi waited for her sister to say something.<br>But she didn't. Hinoe just sat there, humming lightly as she pulled at the soft, dark tresses.  
>She waited. And waited. Eventually, she had her head in her lap, and still nothing was said. Ayumi's eyes were beginning to droop. She was too tired, too relaxed to care.<p>

"Aren't you going to ask me who they were?" Soft words broke the silence.

"There's plently of time. You just tell me when you're ready, if you want to." Was the reply. There was a few moments, then a quiet voice.

"It was a boy." Ayumi breathed out, quietly. She waited first for some kind of reaction to that information, but there wasn't one. "Yoshiki Kishinuma. He's a friend."

Hinoe nodded slowly. She'd heard the name before.  
>Mumbled, even shouted, at night. While her sister was asleep.<p>

Every few nights. Kicking, mumbling, even the occasional shriek. Something deeply bothered the girl, and it came to the surface almost as soon as she shut her eyes and tried to sleep.

"He was...there...wasn't he?"

A slight shifting against the side of her leg. Ayumi was nodding. Hinoe sighed.

Something had really bothered Hinoe all that day while her sister was at the cultural festival. She'd know, deep down, that something was going to go wrong. Very wrong. From her spot in front of the window, she may not have been able to see the whole world, but there was flashes of red against her vision, and feelings, emotions, that brushed passed her insides in a similar way a person would scrape shoulders with another in a crowd.  
>It bothered her, too, that her sister seemed to far away. They'd shared a bond – something not quite physical, but still their, linking their two minds together all the same. Because of that, she never felt far away from her. They always felt close.<br>But that day...no. It was like the youngest Shinozaki daughter was barely there with her. It felt cold and very, very unsettling.

Then she'd seen her come in through the door. Haunted eyes and clothes stained with...Ayumi had said it was red-bean paste. She'd fallen over and sat in some at school, and happened to leave her gym clothes at home that day.  
>Hinoe knew better. Knew it was blood. But also knew better than to ask questions at that time.<br>So she gathered her clothes, carefully putting them to wash while their mother was busy cleaning up after dinner. After that, she sent Ayumi to bathe.  
>She'd left her there for 10 minutes, only to come back and see she'd barely moved. So Hinoe washed her back and hair, fixed up her injuries. Put her into bed, and stayed there with her until, in an exhausted daze, Ayumi recounted what happened.<br>"I did a charm. Sachiko Ever After. To keep us together." She'd breathed. "It...sent us to another place. Heavenly Host Elementary."  
>Hinoe nodded, slowly watching.<br>"We...Ms Yui, Mayu, Morishige, Satoshi, Naomi, Seiko, Kishinuma, Yuka...all ended up..." her voices faded out, beginning to crack. "They're...The...the school...They..."  
>It was quiet, for a moment, until she spoke again. "...numa...he...stay with me."<br>Her voice trailed off into a few broken words, small body turning limp. Ayumi was asleep, which was no surprise. She'd looked absolutely exhausted.

Since then, there'd been no more conversation about what happened. Hinoe had been okay waiting for Ayumi to be ready, but... things were starting to look worse. '_I don't want to push her...but...' _It wasn't good for her to keep it all to herself. She needed to talk to someone about it, someone that would understand. Hinoe's ears perked up when she heard Ayumi speak again.

"I fell asleep at the end of class today. He went to wake me up, and I accidentally hit him."  
>Ayumi recounted with a small chuckle. Hinoe smiled slightly. "Oh?"<p>

"Mhmm." was the reply. "I figured I owed him, so I bought dinner for us."

"That was nice of you." Suprisingly, Ayumi shook her head this time.

"I mean...yeah I guess. But it's not enough. Not really. Not after everything."

Hinoe watched her, frowning sadly. She could only guess as to what happened in that place. The details. But she could tell that it had changed her sister, taken something away from her there. But maybe...someone else there gave her something else in return.

"What's he like? Your friend?"  
>"Kishinuma?" Ayumi snorted, falling back against the sheets. "He's...a deliquent. Well, not really. He was. He used to get told off for smoking in the bathroom all the time and skipping class. I found him one day, with that idiot gym teacher riling him up."<p>

"So he's a bad boy then?"

"I don't think so. He had some trouble with his family, they kicked him out on his own. Honestly, I think he just got sick of everyone telling him how useless he was. I know what kind of attitude I'd have after that."  
>Fingers pulled at the corner of her pillow as she mused.<p>

"We never really talked much to be honest. I was too busy trying to get Satoshi's attention I guess. The only time I had anything to say to him was either to tell him off or to ask him about Satoshi since they were close."

Her brow furrowed actually while Hinoe watched on with interest. Her sister was doing some deep thinking, it seemed.

"Strange that he would go so far to help me. Why would Kishinuma look out for me like that? Unless...Maybe he thought he owed me for what I said then."  
>Ayumi rolled over with a frustrated sigh, looking at her sister pitifully.<p>

"I feel awful." She said, finally. "That after everything he's been through, he's still there, helping me. Even now."

Hinoe nodded thoughtfully, thinking. "You mentioned he was kicked out. Does he live on his own?"

"Yes." Ayumi confirmed. "His sister comes and visits him occasionally."

"I can't imagine that he wouldn't get lonely though. Perhaps you should spend more time with him – you said before that Satoshi and Naomi haven't had as much of a presence as they did before. That means Kishinuma would be missing his friends too."

There was a contemplative hum. "I...maybe? It was nice today, just the two of us. Maybe I should see about cooking a few times a week – god knows how often he eats out from that corner store."

"That's a good idea. But there's plenty of time for that later. I think you need a bath and to go to bed. You look exhausted."

With a childish groan and a heavy, Ayumi sat up from her place on the bed, head spinning from the movement. '_Man...' _She groaned inwardly '_That didn't feel good.'_

"I think you might be right. As usual."

Hinoe chuckled quietly, standing up and moving back towards the door. "Ayumi..."

"Hm?" The younger of the two jumped onto the ground, turning towards where her sister stood at the door.

"I...hope you feel better soon."

"Mhmm. Thank you. I do as well." Ayumi agreed with a slight nod. As soon as Hinoe left, her head drooped. '_I hope so...but I doubt it.'_

* * *

><p>Foot tapping against the ground, Yoshiki Kishinuma half-listened to the sounds going on in the flats around him.<p>

To his left, a TV was going. To his right, there was the mumbled noise of someone on the phone.  
>Somewhere below, there was a couple having a spat, along with the sound of a baby crying.<p>

It was unusual for Yoshiki to pay so much attention to what was going on – usually he'd turn the light out after dinner and go to sleep. Electricity was expensive. But tonight...he decided he really needed to do a bit of thinking.  
>With a short grunt, he kicked the sheets off of his feet, stretching out with one hand on his stomach and the other playing with his messy blonde hair.<p>

Ayumi coming over was...unexpected. Not necessarily awful – while a blood nose wasn't something he actively went out trying to attain, the chance to spend some time with Shinozaki was an opportunity hard to come by.  
>He could help but think of what the situation would have been like before...that.<br>It wouldn't have happened at all in the first place for starters. Class President Shinozaki would never dare be seen falling asleep in class.  
>She would have took him to the infirmary like she did probably, but wouldn't have stayed. No, no he could see her, running to find the nurse so she wouldn't miss out on the opportunity to speak to Mochida before he went to collect his sister.<p>

Ayumi wouldn't have walked him home. Wouldn't have stayed with him. Wouldn't have trusted him with all those guilty feelings.  
>Wouldn't have accepted that hug from him either, probably.<p>

It was a conflicting matter for sure. Yoshiki felt for Ayumi – he wished, desperately, that she wasn't going through what she was. That she didn't have to rely on him so much.

Because that's what would be eating her up – the fact that he was the one she needed. That this time, she was the one that needed the help.  
>Did it make him selfish if he liked that? That he liked the fact that she's broken enough to need someone, and the only one left is him? It took them both having to go through what they did for her to finally notice him?<p>

Oh, Ayumi Shinozaki was a cruel girl. But Kishinuma wasn't completely innocent either.

It's words that are spoken often when debating morality and ethics while facing adversity – 'you do what you need to so you can survive'.  
>He thought about that. Maybe that's what Ayumi is doing – still just trying to survive. In that case, maybe it was ok if she was being selfish. Self preservation warranted that, right?<p>

He was selfish too though.

That's what he been craving all this time, right? To be needed by her?

Everything he'd done since that day, he'd done with her in mind. Even if she'd said what she did so he'd do better for himself, it was still her that said it. It was Ayumi he was doing it for.  
>'<em>But...is it still being selfish, if we're doing it to each other?'<em>

Shinozaki needs Kishinuma. Kishinuma wants to be needed by Shinozaki. Even if both of them were taking and taking and taking what they wanted from each other without remorse, it was still exactly what they needed.  
>It was...a perfect cycle. But it wasn't that simple. The situation wasn't always going to stay the same.<br>Fragile. The whole thing could collapse at any moment.  
>What if Shinozaki gets worse? The wounds in her soul too deep? What about him? Kishinuma didn't come out of the ordeal as unscathed as people would assume.<p>

Nightmares. Not often, but enough to make him suspicious of sleep. He doesn't scream or kick or cry when he's jolted awake in the middle of the night by a painful visage of blood and gore. He goes still, muscles burning hot in preparation for a fight.  
>But he's strong. He's used to having to take care of himself. He can get up and move on, still function perfectly well, at least on a basic level.<p>

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he does get lonely. It's wake up, go to school, work, come home, eat then sleep. That's what he missed the most about living at home and being with his family. His sister, greeting him when he came home, or even the slight acknowledgement his parents would give him. A sign that people noticed when he was there and when he wasn't.

Eventually, Kishinuma noticed the sounds begin to fade slightly – it was time for bed, it seemed.  
>With a sigh, Yoshiki rolled over, switching off the small lamp he kept on the ground beside him.<br>Fingers ghosted over the very sore bridge of his nose – he barely felt the bruise as she recalled the feeling of Shinozaki from earlier today, her small, gentle hands examining his face.  
>Smiling stupidly, he drew his hand away, tucking it under his head.<p>

"Heh. Shinozaki..." Yoshiki mumbled with a dry laugh, corner of his lip still curled upwards in a smile as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Well, there you go. 3 Chapters in, and only a day has been covered. Actually, not even a day. Like, half a day. Oh well.  
>Again, sorry if it was boring. Since I wrote it, it's a bit difficult for me to gauge how interesting it is. <em>_I hope the __characterisation__ is right too. I'm pretty much just going with the flow at this point, so...yeah._

_Ah, whatever. Have a good one guys, see you next chapter._


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys, sorry this took a while to get out. My phone's been going off constantly, telling me I have all these emails about follows and favs and reviews for this story. So I thought I better really try to get something out._

_Now, I do actually have something quite important to say about this chapter. I'm hoping that considering the source material IS Corpse Party, that all you guys are cool with stuff like this...but __**suicide and the contemplation of it is going to be a pretty prevalent theme in this story**__. Well, maybe not prevalent. But it's going to come up a few times, and it's going to be pretty intensive. So please, if it's a sensitive subject for you, maybe...I don't really have an alternative, but be prepared if you want to keep reading this.  
><em>_That being said, probably worth mentioning here that__** I do not endorse or condone suicide**__ – if you are, please talk to someone. There's many, many services out there for people that need help, so please __utilise__ them if you need to. They're there for you._

_Now, please, enjoy the chapter._

* * *

><p>Fighting for a place in front of the lockers was something that Ayumi had always looked at as an invigorating way to start her morning – a challenge to highlight the beginning of her day at school.<br>However, there was something out of place as she stood back, instead waiting for an opening to present itself as opposed to barrelling in as she would have done before.

She thought sternly about how much easier it would be to get in and out if that was actually what people did – but alas, no, apparently a much better place for conversation in the eyes of these two particular underclassmen was right in front of her locker.  
>Ayumi didn't say anything thought. Her mind wandered, in the same way that she probably would have wandered through a forest. Slowly making her way through, skirting the edge, until finding something interesting like a deer or a rabbit and following it in deeper.<p>

But what was the deer that she wandered after today?  
>A stag by the name of Yoshiki Kishinuma, it seemed.<p>

She found herself at an odd place – did she want to avoid him, or seek him out?  
>After what her and Hinoe had spoken about the night before, she was determined to spend more time with the boy, however...something, at the same time, made her want to keep her distance, observe. Like one does with a game they aren't sure how to play yet.<p>

After school. She definitely had to speak to him then. Maybe that was it – the way to get both. If she happens to see him at school that's fine, but other than that, there was no plans to specifically seek him out-

Ayumi blinked. All this time, she'd been staring at her locker, but only now had she just noticed that it was...dripping?  
>She stepped forward, pressing a hand to the cool metal. The lock feel to the ground noiselessly, and her hand pulled at the handle.<br>A torrential wave of gushing blood hit her.  
>Thick, warm, positively disgusting smelling blood. It got into her eyes and nose and mouth and <em>oh god she could taste it-<em>

With a thud, Shinozaki fell backwards onto the ground, hands flying to cover her mouth and nose to stop the blood.  
>But...there was none?<br>The two girls, now stopped their conversation to look at the collapsed girl, hadn't moved from their place. Everything was still white and blue.  
>Clean. Safe. Real. It was fake, it didn't happen. In all her head.<p>

"Shinozaki?"  
>Her head swung around, meeting a concerned gaze. Big brown eyes were looking at her gently, and a slight, elegant hand was poised on her shoulder.<p>

"N-nakashima..." Ayumi covered her mouth with the back of her hand, coughing awkwardly. She'd rather not it had been Naomi that had seen her like that.  
>Well, at least that was the thought that crossed her mind for that moment. After that, it faded with apathy. Nakashima had already won – what point was there to reject kindness based on that?<p>

Sensing her change of heart, Naomi shifted and helped Ayumi off the ground, straightening out her skirt and dusting the girl off in a motherly way.

"Are you ok, Ayumi?"

Pigtails bounced slowly as she nodded. "Yeah. Just...thought I saw a spider. A big one."

Naomi gave a long look at the girl.  
>She knew it wasn't true. Ayumi was a big fan of the occult. She loved spooky, scary things. A spider may have grossed her out a little bit, perhaps caught her off guard. But it certainly wouldn't have been enough to make her throw herself backwards as if her life depended on it.<p>

But...she didn't want to question it. Not now anyway – the spectacle had attracted the attention of a small number of people. The two girls who had been loitering in front of the lockers had given the two girls a perturbed look, then moved along. Naomi pulled Ayumi along, guiding her to the locker.

"There you go. Better hurry before class starts, right, president?"

Ayumi, once again, stared at Naomi with a face that cleared showed that no-one was home.

"Ayumi...I'm..." Nakashima started with a sigh, brushing back her short brown hair. "Sorry...about Satoshi but-"

As if those were the magic words, the shorter girl snapped to attention, whipping around quickly.

"Oh...No that's ok...I just...You know what?" Ayumi's movements were jerking and rigid, her voice going high as she got anxious. "I really need to get a drink, I've got time before my class starts, so that's all ok. I'll see you guys in home room alright? Ok? Great."

Speeding off, Shinozaki manoeuvred her way through the crowd, bag pulled close to her chest.  
>Naomi leaned back against the locker with a sigh. They were all fighting their own battles, weren't they?<br>The brunette was...well, she was coping. Sleep didn't come easy to her – usually, she was up all night crying. For Seiko.  
>Her mother had tried to console the girl, but it was no use. She just didn't understand – acting like she'd never even heard of anyone called Seiko Shinohara before. Naomi hated it. So she usually avoided going home until quite late.<br>She'd stay with Satoshi, at the hospital. After they returned, Yuka took a turn for the worse. Those stab wounds Sachiko had inflicted were vicious.  
>The poor girl had lost a lot of blood. Satoshi was stricken with worry. He'd had to lie to his parents after getting her to the hospital. Something about being attacked on their way home, a man had grabbed Yuka and...<p>

Everyone seemed to buy it. Unlike "we were dragged into another dimension and a ghost did it", a drugged-up crazy vagrant seemed like a much more likely conclusion.  
>The young girl was ok now though. Resting. Recovering. Like the rest of them.<p>

Naomi bit her lip, feeling guilty. It wasn't like she'd wanted to stop seeing her friends, but...it was hard. Too hard for her, at least, for now. With just the four of them, it felt so empty, so sad.  
>Those empty seats at the back of class. This new home room teacher. The fact that nobody seems to even notice the fact that anyone is missing.<br>That was the worst of it. That place...Heavenly Host...it took away everything about them. Those that died there, it's like they were never born. Forgotten, lost spirits, doomed to live out eternity feeling nothing but pain and loathing.  
>It wasn't hell. It was so much more tragic and cruel than that.<p>

Naomi breathed in, shuddering. Tears were forming in the corner of her eyes.

'_oh Seiko...you'd know what to do now. You'd be here trying to fix us...'_

A hand brushed against the inside of her wrist, making Naomi turn. Satoshi was looking down at her, brown eyes soft.

"C'mon, Naomi. We have to go to class." His words were kind and his hand was warm. She slipped her fingers in between his, and with a nod, allowed herself to be pulled off towards classroom 2-9. 

A short distance away, Ayumi was looking up from the water fountain. Her foot remained pressed on the peddle as she watched the short exchange between Satoshi and Naomi. Small splatters of water bounced off the basin and left little dark spots on the front of her blouse and skirt.

The look he'd given her. The look she'd given him. There wasn't any real intention to stare, but...Ayumi got stuck. Pulled in. It was the jealousy. Or envy? Regardless, it wasn't malicious – she didn't wish anything bad on either of them after seeing that. Just that...it made her sad. That was what she longed for, really. Someone to be able to grab her hand, look her in the eyes and put her entirely at ease.  
>Finally, she bent down and took a long sip of water.<p>

"Even though they look sad, they seem quite happy, don't they?"

Ayumi wiped her mouth, giving a short nod.

"Yeah. I probably wouldn't say happy thought. More...content."

A small noise, made in agreement. Ayumi gave a slow look at her companion – Kishinuma was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. His gaze was still settled on the couple across the hall, who had only just entered their classroom.

Ayumi shook her head suddenly – she wasn't supposed to be talking to Kishinuma. Wait, was that the plan? She barely even remembered.  
>But if that was the plan...it failed almost instantly.<br>What was she thinking before? About wanting someone that was able to put her at ease? Didn't he do that?  
>He...made things just that bit more bearable. Made it seem like there wasn't going to be some horrendous danger around every corner.<br>Kishinuma was like a hand on her back as she struggled up a steep, steep slope, making sure she didn't fall back and topple down.

And didn't that make her feel so terrible. That he had to do that for her. What a bother it must be? Ayumi rubbed her eyes, trying not to let the absolutely abysmal disgust in herself show on her face.

"Shinozaki?"

"Yeah, sorry. Class. Got to go. President and what not." Ayumi grumbled, trotting back over to her locker and forcing the combination into the lock and yanking the door open.  
>A hand gently closed it. Ayumi furrowed her brow and looked up. Kishinuma's expression was hard, but his words were caring.<p>

"I wasn't going to say that." He said quietly. She blinked.

"Then?"

"I was going to say, if you needed to talk-"

"How can you do that!" Ayumi cried out. "How can you say that to me! I'm not the only...you're...It's not fair! At all!"

Her breathing was hard, rushed. She wasn't getting enough air. She needed air.  
>Off and away, her legs carried her past the crowd of onlookers, and down the hall.<p>

As Ayumi made a break for the stairs, Yoshiki slammed the hand that was against her locker, and looked down at the ground. What did he do?

Whispers filled the air around him. He looked up again, gaze murderously frigid.  
>Skirts and shorts flurried, moving into classrooms and down the hall.<p>

"...Ayumi..." he muttered with a sigh. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

With a sob, Ayumi dropped to the ground. She wasn't sure at this point whether or not she'd actually ended up where she'd intended to go, or if her legs had just given out on her. It seemed like she'd been running for hours until she'd finally stopped.

Her body curled around her bag, elbows wrapping around her knees as she cried into her sleeve.

'_What am I supposed to do? Everything...everything is just...'_ Another dry, wracking sob interrupted that thought.  
>She was still, for a moment. The other thing that moved was her hair, which was being gently teased by the wind.<p>

'_Wait...wind?'_

Head lifting, she took a look around.  
>The roof. How did she get up here? The door had been locked for a few months now – some of the fencing needed to be replaced, so people couldn't fall off.<p>

'_or jump...'_

Was that...Ayumi looked at the place where the fence was bent outwards. It opened up to the cloudless sky like a gate. It looked so inviting.  
>That was the difference, between here and there wasn't it? There wasn't pain in death. There wasn't eternal torment or suffering.<p>

The more she sat there and looked at it, the more she felt like she was being directed to a solution. It may as well have been a big gaudy sign - "There's always this option".  
>Was...was it an option? Maybe it was now.<p>

Standing up on shaky legs, Ayumi took slow steps towards the fence. Her small fingers wrapped around the chain links as she looked down.

It was...it was far enough down.  
>Her stomach turned anxiously. Yes, definitely.<br>Just like a lot of school in the middle of the city, they're built upwards because there wasn't enough space to go outwards.  
>The wind continued to whip around her, pulling at her sleeves and tugging on the edges of her skirt like the tiny hands of playful children.<br>Ayumi's eyes were stuck on the ground. That's the spot. That's where she'd end up if she did it.

If. If implied possibility, implied intent. It wasn't as bad as 'when' thought. That was absolution, that was a mind made up.  
>She'd not done that yet.<p>

And yet, as she stood there she saw something else perched beside her spot on the ground.

Kishinuma. He'd...he'd bad sad, wouldn't he?

But he'd be free. Wouldn't have to worry about her any more. He'd be able to move on properly and forget it all. He'd be better off without her...

"Kishinuma..." Ayumi breathed with a small sniff.

"Yes?"

Her movements were slow, remorseful. What was she thinking? Would he be able to tell?

Ayumi's eyes caught his blonde strands as they shone brightly in the light and were tossed around by the breeze. She sniffed again, wiping away stray tears with the back of her hand.

"I'm...I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Kishinuma didn't even expect to find her, much less for an apology to come from her so quickly. So, he simply nodded. She watched him look around the roof top, walking towards her.

"it's nice up here." His voice was light. Ayumi didn't say anything. Yoshiki's eyes found her again.  
>Maybe he was trying to see what she was thinking. For a few seconds, he thought maybe he could.<br>Her eyes were still red – somehow he'd upset her.  
>Was it because he offered to help her? Shinozaki wasn't really one to ask for help. She was the one that helped.<br>Perhaps that was it. It was hard for her, having to rely on people now. It made her feel weak.  
>She had more in common with him that she thought. That made him chuckle.<p>

"C'mon, Shinozaki. You don't want to miss first period, do you? I don't know if Naomi can cover you for home room and English..."

"Nakashima did that? For me?"

"Mhmm. You have more friends than you realise, I think."

The hand on her shoulder. The concerned gaze. Maybe Kishinuma was right.

"O-oh. Yes I suppose so..." She agreed after a long while. Clasping her hands together, Ayumi walked back over to the service door as Yoshiki held it open.

"Careful, the step's aren't great here." He warned quietly, resting a guiding hand on her back. With a very, very slight blush, Ayumi nodded, taking careful tiptoe steps until she reached the bottom stairwell. The pressure on her shoulder blade stayed there until they reached the hallway, and she was grateful for that.

"Kishinuma?"

"Mm?"

"Were you...doing anything after school today?"

She caught the shocked look on his face, before his expression relaxed and he shook his head. "No, I've got nothing on. Why?"

"Well...I still feel kind of bad about yesterday. How about I come over and make you dinner?"

Once again, his eyes widened in something like disbelief. "Y-you don't have to do that, Shinozaki. I mean, it's been a while since I've had a home-cooked meal, but-"

"That settles it then. Maybe we should turn it into a thing, there's no way it's good for you to be eating take-out every night!"  
>Ayumi's scolding didn't bother Kishinuma as much as it made him smile. He appreciated every second of those short flashes of her old self. And the fact that she actually asked to spend time with him? He wouldn't dare call it a date, even in his mind but...he was pleased none the less.<p>

"What can I say, they make some nice food." Yoshiki replied with a sigh, resting his arms up behind his head.

"Yeah, but you'll get fat!" Ayumi carried on. "Just wait until your metabolism slows down!"

"Hmm. Maybe you should cook for me then. Save me from myself."

With a short look, both of them started laughing – Ayumi with short bursts of giggles, and Kishinuma with his usual chuckle.  
>Maybe it could work. If he kept distracting her like this. As long as he could make her laugh, he was in the clear. Yoshiki didn't how long he could keep it up, But he did know one thing for sure.<p>

He wasn't going to let her on that roof by herself again.

* * *

><p><em>AN: And there we are. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. This chapter is still quite on track, which means that there's about 10 more chapters due?  
>Anyways, i'll keep this short because the intro note was so long. <em>_There were probably some errors either of the grammar or spelling variety purely because of the amount of times I stopped and started this. So please, forgive me for this._

_Have a good one guys!_


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